The wetbacks are definitely criminals. Crime is all they know. I was renting this Mexican my yard for his chickens. Not enough for him. He committed another crime and ICE and DEA after him. Lost my rent and stuck with roosters. The few hens I will keep. Losing money feeding them. It’s true they are all ignorant.

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life as straight

I have always known I was different. I always denied I was gay. But I have to take a hard look at reality here. When I masturbate I think about a woman. Beautiful blonde with blue eyes. I think I used to dress and do my hair like my ideal woman. But being Christian I had to act like I hated gays and that it was wrong. As long as I have been with men I never had an orgasm but once. I was with a woman once in a threesome and the guy got mad because I was enjoying the girl more than him. It’s true I was always in the closet. Found out my 2 cousins were gay! We were told my hearing loss and my cousins sexuality was a result of my great grandfather passing congenital syphilis because no cute back then. But maybe I am really gay. I used to hang out at male gay bars and was called a fag hag. A nickname for women who like gay men. I did too because I was accepted there even got honked! Guy grabbed for my dick, I was wearing a dress and he thought I was male in drag. I never got apologized to so much! And I didn’t mind. To me I was accepted. Now at the women’s bar I never was asked to dance or talked to hardly ever. I did meet one girl and she said i was her dream girl. She was very honest, when I lied and said I was straight. I only lied to myself. I love men, preferably gay men though. It’s penis’s that make me nauseous. I think I may be gay. At 59 coming out????! Why? My friend and evangelous person hates gays. He would tell me I am hello bound!!! I found a quote in james in the bible, something that says along the line of live and let live. And our lifestyle is private. I will reread it and share it here. More later.

Kidney stone

Well I almostsucceeded in dying. The reason I was in so much pain, kidney stone the size of my thumb. I got in hospital with kidney doctors help. He said go to E.R. scream in pain. Drop my name. They will call me and I will admit you. The e.r. doctor was rude. No way would be admitted she said. But my doctor came through for me. I have a nephrostomy tube now. Relief! In a month I get the stone out. I loved the hospital. So much good food and a real wide screen TV. And i.v. morphine! It was great! The tube hurt like hell going in. But they drugged me. I’m OK.

Isolation

I’m terribly isolated in real life. I am white I should be well off living in the suburban world. But I live at my parents old home in wetback city. No one speaks English. Trump didn’t get rid of them. I wanted them gone and white people back. I was liberal, never prejudice. Until I lived in the same place as blacks and illegals. Now I doubt I even could function in a white city. I’ve become trash I’m not white anymore. I’m not privileged anymore. I thank God for making me white. I just didn’t believe blacks and mexicans were not normal. I hate their roaches in every home. Their rats are coming to my backyard. Whites are STH, shaking their heads I’m a fool. Should have stayed with my own race.

Wetback Party

Can’t sleep they keep playing same drums and bass over and over.. It’s 1 a.m. I called the cops. 1:30, stopped. Sadly they blamed the nice neighbors next door and stool their lawn furniture and dog. Also keyed their car! Stupid setbacks! It was me! Not the Cubans! Me the white privileged got you. I still have some white privileged, not much in wetback city.

New year, new me!

God bless you all! I love you and I don’t worry if you hate me. If I am hated for beliefs in Jesus I am blessed!!!!! I am happier now. I refuse to be homeless. I refuse to starve. I am not guilty of pride. If I need help I ask! At KFC, I was hungry. Panhandlers usually buy drugs so I asked for a meal. Got it in less than 8 minutes. Thanks be to God.

Time capsule

I have failed…    Again. Story of my life. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. I have all the social sites, twitter, Instagram, but I have to hide my age or young people won’t like me. Actually they don’t. Their posts hardly make sense, but there I go again. I have committed several of the seven deadly sins! Envy! Vanity! Shame on me! I want to go to heaven and I write like a racist bitch. Per my daughter. She’s become a hateful liberal. Like my stepdaughter. She wrote Kill Trump and is obsessed with hating him. I’m so tired of hate. She blocked me on Facebook, my stepdaughter for comments pro NRA and guns and the fact I said we can’t control politics. And I Dont want to. From now on no more hate. Forget the past. I am almost 60. I want to be right with God. My dear daughter is on drugs. Shame for being a porn star but she won’t admit it. She hardly works. Just goes to Disneyland 3 days a week. But she’s an adult now. I offer advice only to be maliciously cussed out and she even said I was calling her a whore! What???? OK God first, this includes His Son, Jesus. I will pray, and believe in Him alone. No man can compete with Him. I love you Lord and I am sorry for my sins. I Believe!!!!!!!!

Poverty is Salvation

I now know why I am poor. I was repulsed by white men my age when in my 20’s. God was giving me a hard path. I was attracted to the unloved so called scum of the earth. I could have married a rich white man. Manipulated one and then collect alimony. I didn’t. And thought something was wrong with me. A white attractive girl rejects rich men. Paid for it too in my health and other aspects. But!!!! I am not evil!!!! I love God and Jesus, Yeshua and am poor. It’s harder for a rich man to get to heaven than a camel through the eye of the needle. Thank you Father. No men, celibate 18 years! I love you and forgive me my sins!!!!!