British documentaries

I love documentaries!!! I watch as many as I can on u-tube and Netflix and Hulu. The Brits make several, and I have watched most available, I love learning new things. But I have one problem with the documentaries the Brits make.              They repeat the same info as much as ten times in one show! For instance on a show about lions, they constantly repeat “and now what will happen on the hunt?” But it takes 20 minutes to see a hunt that could have been done in 8 minutes! They purposely repeat, constantly repeatative, to extend time, I don’t know why they do it! I could have learned so much more! It’s done in almost every Brit documentary!!!! They must be slow minded people, to have to repeat simple info, which extends the time the show is on without giving any new info. Kinda like this post. I repeated on purpose, like them. It’s irritating isn’t it? 

Homosexuality born that way?

No scientific proof exists that we are born that way. I used to hang out at male gay bars and successfully got some to have relations with me. A dangerous thing in the 80’s. I fell in love with a gay male who bargained if he was HIV negative he’d consider a relationship with me. Sadly he was HIV+. Then I tried female gay bars. They musta knew I was straight. Couldn’t even get a dance!!! Went to gay A.A. meetings. Didn’t fit there either. Surprisingly I liked one girl a lot. Pretty little blonde. But then my Christian roots scared me. I didn’t want to go to hell!!! So went back to straight men. I have never had an orgasm from but one man. A one night stand. Otherwise sex? Yuck! I would make a rotten muslin because they think heaven is sex. Lots of sex. That’s sick. I’m celibate for 15 years now. Old and wrinkled and out of the game. I masturbate. Sometimes I actually pretend I’m a man and the woman is sucking my dick.(vibrator) good orgasm

 But no love. I’ve never had love and sex together. Does it even really exist? I voted trump so gays really hate me now, saved them from Muslims and they don’t know they’d be beheaded for being gay there. As a Christian I ask for forgiveness for the masturbation thoughts. But God specifically said sodomy was wrong. Never did it and won’t. It has to hurt like hell! I want to go to heaven! Jesus forgive me.

Moles and freckles

I am very white skinned. Pale English blood shows even though I’m half Greek! As a child I had big ugly black freckles on my arms and back. A horrible mole right at the mini skirt line on my leg and a huge mole on the back of my neck. I grew up in California, catholic, Italian kids and Mexican kids all had smooth mark free pretty brown skin. Of course they laughed at me. At age 22 I fixed it all. I was a nurse. Got a surgical book on mole and freckles removal. Performed surgery and removed both moles and all the bigger freckles. At 24-25 I was tan and freckle free. So I got to be one of the beautiful people for 2 years! My daughter was born when I was 35. She is half black. With tan skin and no ugly freckles or moles. She straightens her hair though and dyes it blond. We are never satisfied are we? Still I hate moles the most and shudder especially if one is on a persons face. Free removal!  Wink, wink!

End of the world

My roommate has been watching all the private sector news which is bias towards scaring the crap out of the readers. Doomsday scenarios abound! Alex Jones screams in his raspy voice, “were all gonna die!” Prepare to hide. Economy will fail and we must be armed. All this does is create more fear! It’s trust no one time and my roommate says I will probably die or be killed. This does not help me. He warns me I’ll be put in a FEMA camp and tortured! The new world order is coming!!!! Well shit! I don’t want to know if it’s fear mongeling all the time! I can’t take it anymore! Stop it! Stop all this political bullshit. I hate political correct too but some folks need to have it for their own reasons. I just want to get along now. I still fear Muslims but they are not here so it’s not an immediate problem. I want to get along. 

LGBT and now q

Q means other, queer, questioning and anyone else who doesn’t fit in the normal man women spectrum. Who knew pedophile’s had rights? Rapists might be queer! Any sexual depraved individual now has their protection. How far will they go? It’s the last days, there is no end to their sexual deviant acts. I’m celibate so I don’t fit in. I’m an other with no depraved thoughts on sex. I’m what used to be a beautiful person. I have God’s approval and love. I don’t need a group of people telling me what I should be. Sex crimes are on the rise. But it’s not the women or the cute kids that attract. Heck they are raping old people in some circles. The whole world is in a state of sexual deviance. It’s horrible. Sex no longer is for procreation. Just like The days of Sodom and Gommarah.

Hearing impaired.

I wear 2 aides, I’m about 70% deaf. But the hearing aides make the sound louder, but still voices can sound like gibblish to me. I can recognise some words faster than others. I rely on my lip reading skills also.        Sadly a lot of people who know me assume because I talk and seem to hear sometimes I am labeled as “She can hear what she wants to hear”. That is a lie. But family members insist it’s true. Don’t they know I’m most familiar with their voices? There are times I can’t understand their speech. And they tell strangers this about me, and I end up treated like I don’t exist. I can only hear one person at a time. I wish now though I had went to a deaf school because I would know sign language better and would hang out with deaf people. I’m trapped in the hearing world for now. I love and appreciate all I can hear. It hurts to be told I really hear when I don’t hear something. I could go on but that’s the basics.

Fuck the protestors

They spit on cops, then cry when they get pepper sprayed. Hey I supported Trump then and now. You people can’t handle reality. Truth is we’ve had political complaints and stupid law complaints for years. News won’t broadcast truth. Even now news is lost. How bout investigation of c.i.a.? Or area 51?

Differences Civil War2

😂😂😂😂 baby democrats crying. Said if trump lost it’d be us white’s that start a civil war. Well he won! Now the losers are pissed. Yes it’s true we are fed up with the political correct movement. Yes we hired illegal people cheap. Yes we are interested in helping ourselves for once. This country has done nothing but help others for years, it’s time we helped Americans. As it is the coal mines need to reopen. The cars should be built by Americans and bought oversea.

Ideas 

Solomon said there is nothing new under the sun. He was right. Every time I get an idea for a new story, I cross reference it in the computer. Never before was I able to do that in the past, and I discovered something unique and disturbing at the same time. No matter how original I believe my idea is, so far I have found…..  It’s already been done or said! I could still write my individual story. But the baseline idea, which I was convinced was my own, I would find it! Maybe better written, maybe terribly written. But there it was… Done before me. This information came as both a shock and revelation. I had in the past believed in reincarnation and that as humans we are all connected. But my Christianity beliefs had become more solid lately, and I adhered to the One God/Jesus belief. I still do. However I often wonder if we are some sick repeatative, cosmic joke. Sadly the absence of new ideas both frightened and excited me. I see us humans as one now, again, playing out our simple short lives. And they are extremely short. Void of the future that everyone hopes for. I feel suddenly empty. Shocked. Maybe even fear. I am not original. I am not special. It all has been said. It HAS been Done. Everything at one time or another, in whatever languages you choose. Done. Done. Done. That’s how I feel right now! Finished. My ideas are no linger my own….  It hurts. And the realisation that our lives are so short, least we do figure this out. I am in awe and tired at the same time. Almost ready to give up. It can’t end this way! But it has. Life is not what it seems.