Respect the president

The hatred of our current president Donald Trump is horrible. I’m terrified that so many people hate him that they will group assassinate him. Hard core democrats with minds of 13 year olds! I don’t hate him. I hope that the secret service members kill everyone of the democrats that shout obsenities and threaten him. In fact, I will alert secret service of the hatred.

Advertisements

Sins

I don’t want to die in sin. I want Jesus in my life. Help me Jesus. I’m afraid. Help me love and help others and forgive me for my sins.

Death

I wish I was dead this week, suffering from severe depression and loss. Loss my Pammy, have no real friends because nobody speaks English here. I’m alone. I shop in long beach, ca. but only SEE the white people. Never talk to them.

The wetbacks are definitely criminals. Crime is all they know. I was renting this Mexican my yard for his chickens. Not enough for him. He committed another crime and ICE and DEA after him. Lost my rent and stuck with roosters. The few hens I will keep. Losing money feeding them. It’s true they are all ignorant.

life as straight

I have always known I was different. I always denied I was gay. But I have to take a hard look at reality here. When I masturbate I think about a woman. Beautiful blonde with blue eyes. I think I used to dress and do my hair like my ideal woman. But being Christian I had to act like I hated gays and that it was wrong. As long as I have been with men I never had an orgasm but once. I was with a woman once in a threesome and the guy got mad because I was enjoying the girl more than him. It’s true I was always in the closet. Found out my 2 cousins were gay! We were told my hearing loss and my cousins sexuality was a result of my great grandfather passing congenital syphilis because no cute back then. But maybe I am really gay. I used to hang out at male gay bars and was called a fag hag. A nickname for women who like gay men. I did too because I was accepted there even got honked! Guy grabbed for my dick, I was wearing a dress and he thought I was male in drag. I never got apologized to so much! And I didn’t mind. To me I was accepted. Now at the women’s bar I never was asked to dance or talked to hardly ever. I did meet one girl and she said i was her dream girl. She was very honest, when I lied and said I was straight. I only lied to myself. I love men, preferably gay men though. It’s penis’s that make me nauseous. I think I may be gay. At 59 coming out????! Why? My friend and evangelous person hates gays. He would tell me I am hello bound!!! I found a quote in james in the bible, something that says along the line of live and let live. And our lifestyle is private. I will reread it and share it here. More later.

Kidney stone

Well I almostsucceeded in dying. The reason I was in so much pain, kidney stone the size of my thumb. I got in hospital with kidney doctors help. He said go to E.R. scream in pain. Drop my name. They will call me and I will admit you. The e.r. doctor was rude. No way would be admitted she said. But my doctor came through for me. I have a nephrostomy tube now. Relief! In a month I get the stone out. I loved the hospital. So much good food and a real wide screen TV. And i.v. morphine! It was great! The tube hurt like hell going in. But they drugged me. I’m OK.

Isolation

I’m terribly isolated in real life. I am white I should be well off living in the suburban world. But I live at my parents old home in wetback city. No one speaks English. Trump didn’t get rid of them. I wanted them gone and white people back. I was liberal, never prejudice. Until I lived in the same place as blacks and illegals. Now I doubt I even could function in a white city. I’ve become trash I’m not white anymore. I’m not privileged anymore. I thank God for making me white. I just didn’t believe blacks and mexicans were not normal. I hate their roaches in every home. Their rats are coming to my backyard. Whites are STH, shaking their heads I’m a fool. Should have stayed with my own race.

Wetback Party

Can’t sleep they keep playing same drums and bass over and over.. It’s 1 a.m. I called the cops. 1:30, stopped. Sadly they blamed the nice neighbors next door and stool their lawn furniture and dog. Also keyed their car! Stupid setbacks! It was me! Not the Cubans! Me the white privileged got you. I still have some white privileged, not much in wetback city.